Mel Gibson, Wife File for Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Views on How Best to Wipe the Jews off the Face of the Planet

LOS ANGELES - After 28 years of marriage, Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn filed for divorce last spring, cit­ing irreconcilable views on how best to rid the Earth of its remaining 13.1 million individuals of Jewish descent.

According to the petition, joint cus­tody was requested of the couple's swastikas, ten year-old son Tom, and other Nazi paraphernalia. The Gibsons released a joint statement yesterday reaffirming their anti­semitism:

''Throughout our marriage and sep­aration, we have always strived to maintain our fervent belief that the Jews are not only a bacillus in humanity but the secret conspirators behind every human failing, and we will continue to do so."

With a fortune estimated at $900 million and no pre-nuptial agreement, the Gibsons could be squandering civilization's greatest chance to kill off the Jews since the Holocaust by split­ting their resources.

Precise details as to how the two disagreed exactly on how to annihi­late the Children of Israel were not released. However, confidential sources reveal that Robyn Gibson wished to strategically bomb syna­gogues, delicatessens, and Loehmann's department stores in several major U.S. cities, a plan her husband ridiculed as "boring," "pedestrian," and "something a Jew would think of."

The 53 year-old Braveheart star, on the other hand, was said to have much more grandiose, elaborate plans to finish off God's Chosen People. It's no secret that Gibson loves to borrow from his long list of box office successes for inspiration when it comes to cooking up schemes to hunt, conquer, and kill the Sons of Abraham. It's also been reported that the actor is close to opening two concentration camps for kids: Poland's Mickey M'Auschwitz and Six Flags over Gaza.

Close family friend Leonard Mayer shed more light as to why the Gibsons weren't seeing eye-to-eye on anti-Semitic semantics.

"Mel never felt like Robyn was the right fit to help him finish the work that Hitler started," said Mayer. "That's why he kept insisting they bring in a comically-mismatched, African American partner in crime, one preferably 5-1 O years older and prone to saying 'I'm too old for this shit."'

"Early in the marriage, Robyn was the one with the big ideas," said Mayer. "Who do you think came up with that plot in 1983 to round all the Jews up in the Australian Outback and watch them die mercilessly at the hands of a lawless motorcycle gang?"

Mayer went on to explain that as the years went by, Robyn's focus shifted to rais­ing the couple's seven chil­dren, and she just wanted to find the most efficient, cost­effective manner of execution.

"And that's just not the girl Mel fell in love with all those years ago in Adelaide." he added.

Earlier this year, Gibson rolled up to the Wolverine pre­miere with Russian singer and noted anti-Semite Oksana Grigorieva on his arm. The two met in early 2007 at a reading of Mein Kamf in Central Park and have been inseparable as of late. Grigorieva was reportedly wearing Gibson's prized golden swastika, handed down from his father, around her neck.

"I haven't seen Mel this happy since Yitzhak Rabin was murdered," con fessed a close friend of the couple's who asked to remain anonymous.

According to the friend, Mel and Oksana already have plans this sum­mer to build a militia that can suc­cessfully challenge the oppressive rule of Edward I, restore freedom and independence to the Scottish country­side, and then kill all the Jews.